Tanna Marie (part II)
Unknown Speaker 0:01
You're listening to rebel radio with your host Malika Bella lyrics locals love on the rebel HD two
Unknown Speaker 0:24
what's good everybody welcome back to rebel radio I'm your host Malika Bella here with Tana Murray. So with you know my first impression of you and just your way to command a room, your presence, right all of it all of the above. I remember looking over to my sister and being like, she sounds like Adele but like better because
Unknown Speaker 0:46
somebody else said that I was like y'all are too weak. Y'all are fried. I was like this crazy
Unknown Speaker 0:50
personally, like, I don't know if it's like just trying to be like me personally trying to be like, anti bandwagon or anti anything. And I know Adela. Like I respect her talent. I respect her 100% Yeah, I just don't know her music as much as I should, because it's in pop culture and stuff. And so I automatically like avoid things that are in mainstream. Yeah. So I don't know. I didn't give her the light of day or like the time of day. But I know her sound right. So I'm like, wow, wow, she sounds like a doll. But like, so much better. And I don't know how to like say that. And I'm not no shade. No shade at all. But I'm like,
Unknown Speaker 1:23
that's a wild one for me to comprehend. I'm getting better at taking compliments with the box. I put like, Adele, Mariah Whitney. Like there's so many people that I put in that Celine Dion God, I love Celine like these people. And I'm just like to hear comparisons to any of them is wild to me. Because these are people I've looked up to Alicia Keys even like just her her writing abilities. And it's just wild because I've sing these people songs so many times. When I was in Virginia, and I wasn't making original music yet. I used to cover Adele, Amy Winehouse one of my all time favorites, who people also tell me I sound a lot like, we're like, they're like, Oh, you give me any wind housewives, which is one of the biggest I'm like, Thank you, like, I will take that I will run with it and believe in it forever. But like it's it's crazy to even be compared to some of these people who I find like, greats but in my own weird way. I feel like I'm gonna be if not already a great artists for different reasons. I don't think I'm going to be the artist that's like, known for like, I don't like the celebrity world. Like, I don't want to be like in the limelight for that stuff. But I want to be someone who touches people on a level that it's just like, I went to a concert and it was just dead silence just crying like, so many people are like, I never get videos of your stuff, because I'm just so entranced by watching you. And I'm like, I never had videos of me performing. I'm like, Guys, can somebody get a video, please? Like, people aren't gonna believe that I do this, you know what I mean? But it's, it's the biggest compliment because people are like, I lose myself and watching you and I don't think I'm the best singer in the world, which I think is okay. Because there's amazing artists out there who aren't the best singers, but that almost all I'm very hard on myself. But I do think like, there's just something about just like being vulnerable that comes through in my music and that's what it is, I think, is like that authenticity and vulnerability in my music. The being okay with maybe not being okay, and like not being perfect and letting that out. I think that's what's relatable in my music. People hear and go, I can relate to that. I'm not perfect. I have these problems. The biggest is people pleaser. When people hear people pleaser, I almost didn't want to release that because it was too vulnerable. And noises I Oh, no, no, we're recording that. Like, you don't have a choice. And I was like, dang. Okay. Um, I talked about a lot of things and that song that like, men and women have told me like, for men to be like, Yo, I I agree. I feel that way. I'm like, what, like, that was one of the biggest compliment to me, because I do try to make it so that anyone, regardless of gender, or sexuality could listen to my music and be like, Oh, I get something from that. Maybe not every song you know what I mean? But like, most songs, and that was like my big like, Ah, I love that song is like special in so many ways.
Unknown Speaker 4:18
Yeah, your performance style is so raw and very, very vulnerable. That maybe that's why I like trauma bonded or something. Like
Unknown Speaker 4:30
you know, what, if my fans are trauma bonded, you know, I'm right here with you guys.
Unknown Speaker 4:36
So I don't know maybe maybe that's also the fact that you're saying people not having recordings of you right, that makes it so much more special because I think of like a shooting star right? It happens we know they happen if you're lucky enough to even see it on Friday. I know I really think that makes it so much more powerful to even see you and be in your presence because you you just Have to witness it right? A video won't tell the whole story. If I
Unknown Speaker 5:03
can be completely honest like, and everyone knows me for being super bubbly and funny and goofy. There is a side of me though that a few have seen. I struggle with mental health a lot. And I think that's why I help others with mental health. It's because I've struggled with it so much with like really deep depression and anxiety and a need for validation in some forms of like fitting in not so much I want people to like me, but I want I just want to fit in because I've never felt like I fit in somewhere. So like the art scene is kind of like the first place I felt like I kind of fit in it was like misfit Island and and like, I was like, you know, that old old rain, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer with like, the snowman and like they're on that little misfit Island thing. Like, that's what I felt like my whole life. And I was like, Oh, I found this place where people are like me, we're all a little messed up and hurt and all these things, and it comes out in our music. And these past two years have been hard because I've been so focused on like shows and stuff and been going through. I'm always going through something because I feel like I'm someone who challenges myself a lot. So I'm constantly evolving. But I think they say that about Scorpios were like the Phoenix we're out. We're constantly burning ourselves to ashes, and then like re growing. But I do feel like I haven't. I didn't do my Spotify wrapped. I told you I haven't done a lot of stuff. Because I'm like, should I really be doing this, like so many more people are getting like more traction in the city. And I don't know, I've been asked to do less shows. But that's also because I haven't been going out. I've been like isolating myself. But it's funny how every and I mean this every time I've ever been like maybe I shouldn't do this. God has been like, Here you go. And you hit my DMs and we're like, Would you like to be and I'm like, I'm still constantly thought of even when I don't think I'm doing stuff. So it's like, I feel like God's like you don't have a back out. You're not backing out of this. And it's so crazy. Because I'm just like, every time I'm just like, maybe this isn't for me, like maybe this isn't what I want to do. I see celebrities and the things that go through it. I'm like, I don't want that for me. And I don't want that for my kid. And I don't want this and like there's a part of me that just wants to have a normal, like, I want to have a normal family and just new normal things. But I'm not normal. There's nothing about me that's normal. Like, I don't and I don't even know what normal is. I'm just like, I I meant to do this. And I don't know why. And I don't know where it's gonna take me. And there's this huge feeling where it is somewhere big and I don't know how. And I just, I'm just gonna keep letting it be. Because the more I try to pull away and say I'm not doing it anymore, the more things get thrown at me and they're just like, Yeah, you are and I'm like, Okay, well, I don't have a choice anymore. So I'll just listen. There's no
Unknown Speaker 7:41
room for self-doubt over. No, there's none. Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 7:44
mean, you're gonna I'm a big girl little box. There ain't no room like.
Unknown Speaker 7:50
Well, we've talked about like the Adele sound right? But then I know that you ended up writing a song for Lizzo right?
Unknown Speaker 7:57
So I wrote that song. Yes, yes. So I wrote validation and it's not a will be recorded soon. Everyone keeps asking How come validation is not out? Because that was a YouTube beat. Okay, and I'll have to find a way to purchase the beat and do all this stuff and get the full exclusive rights for it. On the formality. Yes. And that cost money y'all. So if you want to stream my music, so. But um, no, like I wrote validation and I kind of like I put it all over to talk and it started to blow up. Back when I had my old Tik Tok and like, people were tagging Lizzo and I was just like, she would be sound so dope on this, but a few people in the comments kept saying no, like, you do this great. You do the song and I was like, okay, and then when her team never like said anything or got back to me, I was like, You know what? Screw it like, it'll be my song. And Gumbo is a gumbo was like one of those first like, I feel in myself type songs. But validation was really like a screw everyone who doesn't believe in me, this is what I'm doing. And every time I've ever performed that song, when I performed it in Colorado to five hundreds of 500 people sold out crowd. They like lost their minds. And it's one of my favorites. I do that I do my pretty poem. And then I do gumbo. Usually that's like kind of my little sequence and people lose their minds. And it is the funniest thing to watch but also the coolest thing ever. Because I think we can all relate like of having those moments where like we don't you realize I don't mean you'd like to be okay with me for me to be okay with me. And then we all have those moments where like I need someone to tell me like it's it's you know, it's forever a roller coaster but um, yeah, that's that song. I love validation so much. And I'm actually kind of happy with it didn't take it because you know, when I record it, who knows what'll happen when I release? Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 9:42
No, I'm so happy I I listened to it through like a pre recorded, not pre recorded was called, like a live stream and I watched it after the fact. So I'm like, I am so happy that it's yours.
Unknown Speaker 9:56
I can I can do a little bit of it for you. Yeah, you said you want to meet because there's people who haven't heard validation if they don't come to my live shows if they just listened to my Spotify they'll never know there's a lot of that music that I do at live shows that people are like I didn't know the song. I did intoxicated which isn't out and people are like Where can I find this? I'm like you can't yet. Validation is one of those and I absolutely love the song. Okay, here we go. And it starts I don't even think I could sing the very beginning part of it because it starts with I know you really want to see me face down but it's it's really one of those songs or just the courses what's the part right before that? I do like a prayer to and that one that's like Now I lay me down to sleep. And then it's like, the girls are always like, it's my favorite part when like the girls are feeling it. That's my favorite day you shun Um, no, I don't need your validation. Um, I don't even know blue check to tell me I'm real. I don't even know tear road and no had feel. Took me some years. And then like, it just goes into like this beautiful arrangement and it's like to get to this place. So boy, keep that nonsense up out of my face. Go hit the gym and hit in this. Here's the point that you missed. I do this phone me. No, I'm not listening heard all I can take need to walk away. I don't know how else to say Antonio. De tion? And then that's like the whole song is basically like, I don't need you to tell me pretty and I'm cute.
Unknown Speaker 11:53
You don't. And I'm absolutely starstruck. I'm like, keep it together. Keep it together. Oh my god.
Unknown Speaker 12:01
Oh my goodness. But validation is one of those songs that like, to this day, one of my all time favorite songs.
Unknown Speaker 12:08
I do want to talk about like, what is your lyrical process look like? Like does inspiration strike spontaneously
Unknown Speaker 12:16
on taneous Lee, there's been times I've woke up from Ben I had a dream and I'm gonna write this down. There's been times most of the times it's in the car. I've wrote some of most of my work in the car. Most of my best stuff has come to me in the car gumbo came to me in the car dropping off my kid at daycare, like, like, it's so many things have come to me in the car. The car is like my safe space. I told you I do my makeup there. Like I just sit in my car for ridiculous amounts of time. Even when I get home. Sometimes I'm just like, I'm just gonna sit in my car and listen to music for a little bit. It's my happy space. And yeah, that's that's where I write most stuff. But most lyrics, like, Come to me when I'm feeling something.
Unknown Speaker 12:57
Yeah, yeah. And for a lot of people that I've met, like, met throughout my life or like talk to they have a limit to their emotional regulation or their emotional like outlets. So I feel like us as waterside. No,
Unknown Speaker 13:15
there's no limit baby. There's no limit like swear. The emotional depths as a water sign, right? I have a if anyone who listens to like, or studies zodiacs and all that stuff. I have a stellar two stellium I have a stellium in Scorpio and a stellium in Capricorn. Like I am intense. If you've met me, I'm intense, my friends. God bless them. Because I'm a lot. I am a lot. And I right now I have the most solid group of people I've ever had. And they love me for the crazy hot mess that I am. And it's been the most inspiring thing and feeling like you have a safe space to be yourself is like the most important thing ever for growth. So I'm like super blessed in that department. or similar departments, maybe maybe some karmic ties to some other departments, but it evens out. You know, you need the balance.
Unknown Speaker 14:17
But yeah, feeling like whatever you're going through in the moment could be good bad. Like in between you're like in this weird purgatory. You're like, what am I feeling? But the fact that you have music to express yourself and work through that just
Unknown Speaker 14:28
and thank you to every single person, myself included who comes up to me, because it's hard sometimes to go up to somebody who's offstage? Like I think it takes like some courage to do that too. Because you don't know these people but like, anyone who has ever come up to me and told me they like something, they resonate with something, they like me just anything. That means the world because it just, again, if we say true if we're truthful with ourselves and say that like oh, I don't need validation. Everyone needs like a form of validation. Even it's wrong. From yourself or parent or whoever you don't, I mean, like, we all look for it in somewhere, but like, knowing that someone else felt something, the tiniest thing for me, or like it is the hugest compliment, and I will forever be grateful. Like, I have resting bitchface so if you ever see me and you think I'm and I don't wear my glasses a lot, so I'm always squinting, because I can't see like, like a little mole rat. And but like, if you see me and you think I can't approach her yes, you can please approach me. I'm very approachable. I promise. I'm not that intimidating, guys. I am a huge, there's boom, Biggie. He's a rapper out here, a local rapper I love and he always is like, Tana, you're a big Carebear I was like, You're ruining my street cred. No, I'm not. And he's like, Yeah, you are. I am. I'm a giant Carebear. So if you guys ever just want to talk or like, you know, just be like, I love this or I'm doing this thing like, I will take time to remember you. Anyone knows if they've come up to me all shake your head out. ask you your name. I may not remember it. But I do try guys. I asked you your name. I try to show people that I'm genuinely like listening to them when they say something because it means a lot to me because especially a lot of those people are people who are more introverted. And as a keeper of introverts. I keep I have so many introverted friends. As a keeper of introverts. I know how much courage that takes to like, step out and tell somebody something because the whole time they're probably like, oh my god, did I say some stupid like afterwards? And I'm like, so I know that feeling. And I'm just like, thank you to everybody who streams my music, who believes in Me Who said anything? Thank you to everybody who doesn't believe in me, who has said mess up stuff who have tried to talk behind my back because I broke up. I was like, anyone who's done anything like good and bad. It has made me grow and it has helped me so I'm like, you can't really like you can't hurt me. I'm like I've said meaner things to me than anyone else cans on like, you can try and like eventually it my like, at the end of the day. I'm gonna keep I have like the biggest bounce back game. Like I bounced back like crazy is probably all this all this back there. But like I bounced my balance by game has been Nana. So yeah, I just that was my little thank you to everybody.
Unknown Speaker 17:11
And I gotta thank you back though I would be remiss without even recognizing your receptiveness to that, right? Sometimes people can be like, bolting offstage. And like, I don't know, I don't I don't have the capacity to really talk to people, or I did my piece. I'm done. Like, or maybe they're busy, and they gotta do something else. So you actually like spending time to means the world. It really does. And I got a test to the Carebear thing like if you guys see how she's dressed today, that's a really adding into the theme.
Unknown Speaker 17:40
I have on like pink and purple.
Unknown Speaker 17:47
And I know you just dropped some new music and there's a lot more on the way. So what was your process with escape?
Unknown Speaker 17:55
Escape was hilarious. Chris Ivan, who's a artist out here. He's like a pop, pop EDM type artist. He's really cool. He reached out to me after he saw me at a at an open mic. Asia Jade. If you know who he Jada is, she's amazing. She puts on amazing open mics. I was at her open mic and featuring. And he's like, will you be on a song with me? And so we collabed on the song. It was one of the hardest but coolest processes because I am very picky. And I can be a little bit controlling. And I was like, I want this, this and this and that. And I'm changing things. And I had to sit down. He's like, I don't feel like I'm in this. And I was like, oh, and at first I was kind of like annoyed by that. I'm like, What are you talking about? Like, did it and then I had to sit back and I'm like, I'm not allowing his artistry to come through. And if you're going to work with another artist and it's a collab, you don't I mean, you have to it's it wasn't like it's my song and he's featuring or vice versa. This was a collab. So it was like, Okay, I need to sit back and maybe not try to perfection eyes, everything he's doing, but I did he allowed me to vocal produce him to which was like the first time I got to do that. And that was amazing, because I got to put him out, push them out of his comfort zone and vice versa. And Adam, who made the beat and Blake who Blake was there who produced it, like, I had such a fun time working with like on this because we both have like ADHD and we're like working extremely fast. And just having so much fun. So this song means a lot. It's about love. It's about finding someone who's like that, that escape for you that comfort that home. And that could be not just like romantic, but platonic. It could be your dog, you know, I mean, when are they your escape? Whatever it is. And that process was really fun because he kind of started writing the beginning. And then from there, he wrote like one part we changed some things and then together we wrote the rest and I got to do a lot like I said, that vocal arrangement part I didn't even realize that was a passion I had until I did it. And then I loved it. So that's the process for escape and, and then we sat on it forever because you know, life happens and he was going through things and I was like, Alright, I didn't reach back out for a while and then I'm like, Hey, remember this song? We did? Do you want to really Is that now so a whole year later guys, escape is now it came out on the ninth. And it's been Yeah, it's been going strong people I've had a really, really good reaction to the song. There's going to possibly be some remixes to it some medium remixes and so I'm looking forward to that. It's it's a fun song. It's also a little different than stuff I've done. It gives you to me, it gives like 2000s Chris Brown feel like, you know, back before the drama, so like, I feel like it was like, it's a really fun song. And it's cute. And it's radio friendly. For all my radio buddies out there isn't any cuss word so I don't think so. Maybe there's like one but yeah, it'll be fine. Just leave it out. But yeah, that's escape. And then home that just came out. No one even knows about this. I haven't said it anywhere yet. So outside of you intend Hi yah home is a song I wrote in collaboration with 10 Hi, which is there is no heroin, heroin. They're an agency I work with, for the nonprofit. I work for Joe Engel, who is who started jinhai here because it was like a program that was in another state and they started it here. He lost his son Reese to overdose and wanted to just raise awareness. And that's really just how it started. And it grew hugely from there and it's impacted zoning people's lives. They have some sober houses, they helped with Mission High School, they opened the first high school that helps with substance misuse and it has been really wonderful to create something for such an amazing cause the streams 50% of the streams do go to Chennai, so please It's on YouTube, it's everywhere. stream it. Yeah, listen to it twice. It's very different. I was telling you it's very different than my other music. It's very foci and indie. This was raw, there's not a lot of edits on my vocals. It was very raw because that's what I think it needed. We're talking about someone overdosing on substances or you know, choosing to on alive themselves so like because of the things so it's like a very heavy it's a light song but it's heavy at the same time and I think it's a very beautiful song. And yeah, it's called home it just came out on all streaming platforms. It was a little late it was supposed to come out earlier but licensing stuff so you know, you know how that goes. Once you once you put it in the air and like it's up to the people that you know get it out there but it was really really awesome to do it was the first time I wrote something for someone and was like I'm gonna get paid to write a song for something like that's crazy to me like bananas like can't believe it little girl Tana is screaming and so and for such a good cause so yeah, go stream that guys go listen to it. Let me know what you think it's very different. I made a lyric video for it on my YouTube channel, Tana Marie settings so you can you can literally go listen to it everywhere.
Unknown Speaker 23:01
Yeah, and I didn't know that it was brand new. I happened upon it when I was just like having you know Tana Murray on Spotify just on shuffle, whatever. And it comes on and I had to stop everything and I pick up my phone I'm like, I love this song. And I'm like, I've never heard it before. Like, I don't know. I it immediately became my favorite and I had no idea that it was brand new. Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 23:23
put the lyric video up for a reason it's funny I don't have a lot of lyric videos which I'm going to try to start doing because I think like people really do like a lot of lyrics that I write but this one specifically because of what it's about like I really wanted people to sit with the lyrics it starts with housing all this pain and then boxes full of shame so if you think about an empty house and you're like it's you're moving everything out of it and like the metaphor for like this empty house of like this empty houses being yourself and feeling like all that's left in it is like the shame and guilt of like what people with addiction go through because addiction is a mental health crisis and there's it's not a it's not the person you know addiction it happens to anybody doesn't matter how much money you have your status addiction happens to everybody. every walk of life can become addicted to something and so trying to just reduce the stigma around it and mental health in general. And that's something like I'm very I wouldn't call myself an activist but I I do very much preach for like hey, mental health is important. And we need more of it. So it's been really cool having that up and I hope more people listened to it once I'm gonna put it on my Instagram guys today because I've been I need to post something I've been waiting for it to be on all stream so I could be like, Hey guys, it's out. So I'm really excited. I like truly super excited for people to hear this and learn more about just what 10 Hi does for the community. Also, fun fact, Joe angle is who I knew Reese when I was younger his son. I saw it I found out my friend Haiti called me and she's like, Hey, you know, Joe, and I was like, Yeah, I work with them. She's like, No, no, no, you know, Joe, and I was like, What are you talking about? And she's like, Reese, like his brother, we used to play in their backyard at my old house, like, remember when I was like, what I was like, That's them. And she's like, Yeah, and I was like, Oh my god. So like, literally used to be in this guy's backyard, playing with reason these kids and it's like, you really don't know how you're gonna affect someone's life and the things that come in, so like, that was so full circle for me to like, meet him and like, and then also to, like, we connected on another way that someone he knew. So it was just like, it's always crazy to me when I'm like, How are we connected? That's wild. Um, again, it's one of those things like it's just meant to be some stuff is just meant to happen. This was one of them. I felt like crap for the longest because like, it was not out when it was supposed to be for like streaming platforms. The video was I made that but they were very kind and understanding I am so like, again, that that feeling of failure, I was like, I failed them. But like, the song has been great when they played it in the room full of people who have lost their friends and, and who are recovering addicts. And some of them still, you know, have addictions? Or struggling with addiction. Like, it was like, you could hear a pin drop, like, and it was a crazy feeling to know that like, music can create such a feeling like that. It's wild. To me. It's it's one of those songs I could hear on a movie. I mean, like, and it's, I just, I love the song a lot. It was fun. It was fun to make. It was fun for me, because I was like, wow, I get to make something that like people who are going through a lot really get to feel
Unknown Speaker 26:42
Yeah, I I just can't believe that full circle moment. It makes it that much more meaningful. Yeah, it's beautiful. It's crazy. About home though I did, like write down some lyrics. And it says Home leaves you in peace, not pieces. Home is where your soul can mend Home is where you're free again. And just tying that in with escape. Not necessarily like the lyrics of escape or anything like that. But escape in general, sometimes people are trying to find their home to escape. And I think it's really beautiful how they kind of connect that
Unknown Speaker 27:15
line about it's actually Ari, who works at 10 Hi, that was her favorite line as the home leaves you in peace, not pieces. My thing was like, because I say in the first line like to burn into the ground. If something isn't right for you. Leave it you are not tied to anything in this lifetime. Not even your children, you die alone. You go to the grave by yourself. Unless you take a bunch of people with you. That's, you know, that's a different, but like technicalities. I'm not gonna get into that semantics. But no, I'm truly home home is supposed to be a place anything can be home, my car for so long felt like home, I think that's why it's my safe place when I didn't feel like I had somewhere to call home. That was my home. And so home is a feeling and homeless place I was like home shouldn't leave you in a place where you're falling apart. And you don't feel like you can like live like if if you're at that bottom of that bottle or you're using that drug and, and you're like, because you're escaping from the fact that you don't feel home like burn all that let it all go start over you can start over anytime you can start over right now you can choose to stop anything that you're doing that's not good for you else yourself and start something new. And that's what I wanted people to know. And then also there is a reference of like welcome home a friend like coming home because the people who passed from that their home again, and I mean they're within their souls have reached a place where they can find comfort and peace from the things they couldn't find here because this this world can feel very much like hell sometimes there's a lot of things we see go on genocides just debt, like there's so many hard things inflation, you see unhoused people who can barely afford things not being able to have insurance Health, like there's so many things in this world that if you focus on them, it can be extremely overwhelming and you feel really powerless. And knowing that you can find comfort in yourself if you create like those good habits of finding like your home and your piece. Then you can like take that with you everywhere. And that's kind of there was like multiple messages in that song but that's kind of what I was trying to portray with that. That's it you're gonna have to tap in with me at Tana Marie sings let me know if you resonate with anything. Follow me. If you ever feel like you're going through some things mentally and you don't know who to check in with. I can be that safe place for people. So yeah.
Unknown Speaker 29:42
Thank you for listening to rebel radio with Malika Bella lyrics locals love on the rebel HD two
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